Mistakes Have Punishments
by FujoshiPanda
Summary: There are things in our life that never mean to happen, but once they do, there is nothing that can stop them. Mello learns this the hard way. Mpreg, Mello&Matt. AU. Rated M for language and suggested sexual content.


_'They say selfish acts can blind rational decisions..'_

Mello sat alone in the desolate silence of the New York Presbyterian Hospital. A heavy air filled around him, swirling like a snake ready to strangle, pulling the air from his lungs. His hands hid away the face filled with fear, and guilt as the sole of his boot hit against the hard floor rapidly.

A ticking sound produced by a nearby clock was the only sound that pulsed through the area, its beat now in tune with Mello's heart. He slid his hands away from his eyes to glance upward, taking note of the time. 3:04 a.m. He had been sitting in the hollow room, wallowing like a pathetic coward for over two hours.

A crossed the hall, just opposite of Mello was a hospital room. There was nothing different about this room; it had the same white paint as the other's, the same equipment, and the same doctors went inside. But this room was the only room Mello cared about. The mistake he had made brought the one inside that room to this hospital.

Matt Jeevas, his one and only friend. He had wronged him in the greatest way possible.

"God.. dammit..." Mello bit out through his teeth, curling his chest down towards his knees, nails digging into his forehead. "You have to see him! You fucking coward, you did this!" His words convinced him, the bitter tone forced through his lips sounded like a word from an angered god, forcing Mello to stand to attention.

_'Mistakes will always have their punishments.'_

The blond forced his booted feet to move, to walk to where the door was located, where all of his fear and anxiety had been housed. It felt like his stomach was ready to digest itself. He hated how quickly his heart began to beat.

He wasn't able to make it far. Upon taking a few steps closer, a soft cry of pain echoed through the small opening of the door, ending Mello's movements completely. From all the books and pieces of written material he had read, he knew this would be an exhausting process, but the aching sound he heard just now seemed more than discomfort. It unnerved him, it caused his body to tense and absorb the ache as if he was the one feeling it. Could he been in so much pain already?

"Sir?"

A gentle voice forced Mello out of the momentary lapse of terror. He whipped back, beryl eyes grown and drenched with clouded guilt took in the sight of a simple nurse. She was the average picture; chocolate colored hair that curled down to her shoulders, eager almond eyes that asked questions of hospitality, and a smile of adoration. How someone could be so cheerful in this florescent white nightmare was beyond him. "What?"

The nurse simpered. "You look a little distraught, so I thought I would speak to you. Do you know the patient in there?"

With her pointer, she gestured to the room where Matt was being housed. Mello could only give a curt nod. "Y.. yeah.. he's..." Nothing came out. He wasn't sure what to say, what to call himself. Scum, but that wouldn't seem appropriate in a conversation.

Though, the bright eyes assistant must have thought of her own name for Mello, because she laughed whole-heartedly. "I understand what you mean perfectly. You look like it's your first time. Trust me, it's a little frightening. I went through it, and so did my wife. We all a little panicked at first, but once you go in, you know you're only there for them."

"What are you-" Mello listened to the woman's speech with deft ears, it didn't make any sense to him, until his eyes trailed down to something that suddenly made it all clear. This wasn't just an average nurse, she was pregnant. She didn't look like she had a bomb in her and was about to explode, but she wasn't tiny either. It made the situation excruciatingly clear. It was a reminder of why he was here in the first place. Mello felt sick. He felt truly sick.

Mail Jeevas was not put in the hospital because he was ill with a bug Mello gave him. He was not here to fix a broken bone that Mello had caused in a rough-housing accident. He was lying inside an uncomfortable bed, tossing and turning with a swollen stomach forcing labored breaths from his body because of Mello.

He didn't mean for any of it to happen. Near refused to leave his mind, every thought was consumed by the boy in white so that he was dwindling into a small mass of insanity. He needed something to relieve himself, just one moment where he could think with a clear mind, where Near wouldn't be his handicap. He had let his emotions take over, and Matt was the only one around. So Mello took him with a desperate need, begging with every touch and caress that he could make the haunting black eyes leave him. And Matt allowed him. He knew as Mello whispered words of adoration to him that they would never be true, but he smiled throughout the entire endeavor, simply because Mello meant that much to him as his friend.

That night was easily forgotten by the blond. He didn't think anything of it, he only went back to everything his life had to give him. It was only another night, but once the weeks passed and his companion grew sick. Then everything went to hell.

Mello refused to accept the news. Matt tried to tell him, he tried to explain to him, but he refused to listen. A child? It would ruin everything. He wanted nothing to do it, there was no part of his life that a child could be a part of.

He left for quite some time. He couldn't handle being around him as he knew something was growing inside him, something that shouldn't be there. Sometimes Mello would call, if only to check on him, to make sure he wasn't dead. Matt was having difficulty carrying a child. He was in the small percent of his bearing generation that wasn't initially built. His body contorted, and his bones extended out and caused him extreme amounts of pain, and yet whenever Mello would call he could still hear that light-hearted tone of his inside the hoarse voice.

In the end, Matt went through hell, because he knew Mello would never forgive himself if he forced the child into the afterlife. Despite how much he didn't not want it, Mello had morals and obligations as a prideful man. He wouldn't allow it to be gotten rid of, nor would he let another take care of his child, but he did not want the responsibility. Matt took it upon himself to let go of his future for Mello's wants, he let go of everything for a man that did not love him, to take care of a child that wasn't wanted. He was a selfless martyr for someone so selfish.

It wasn't until the final moment that Mello came back for Matt. He read somewhere that once a pregnancy develops, the father retains a beacon to aid in his partner's every need; it's an overwhelming need. He never received that, but something snapped inside him when Matt called him in the late hours of the night, sobbing uncontrollably of an unnatural pain. It lead them here, and lead Mello to realize just how much he had wronged the only person who cared for him enough to give up his body, mind, and life without asking for anything in return.

"...So you.. have more than one, I assume." Mello murmured under his breath, his mind void and his tone empty with the recollection.

"This is our third, actually." The nurse's voice was warm with joy genuine love as spoke spoke of her growing family. She obviously had a loving spouse, one that took care of her and kept that smile on her face.

Mello wondered for a brief moment is Matt was lonely through those months...

"We've always had this plan, and, what can I say.." The brunette Mello could not stop from listening to began to whisper, almost as if she was lost in the blissfulness that was her life. "A child is a heart's delight..."

That hit the blond like nothing he had ever felt. How much damage could he bring? How many sleepless nights did he force upon Matt when he slept soundly? How many times did he curse an innocent child made by his own selfishness?

How could he ever forgive himself...

This couldn't go on anymore. Mello shook his head, his movement coming quick and shaky as his went to reach for the door handle of Matt's hospital room. "Th-thank you for the conversation, but I need to go in now-" The handle was pushed down and the door came open, permitting Mello to rush in and leaving the somber nurse to go about her business, still with a wonderful smile on her face.

"Matt!" Mello called out, closing the door behind him.

The red-head holding softly to his grown stomach turned his head to the voice calling out to him. He looked tired and weak, but his eyes colored emerald were large with awe. "Me-"

Before a single word could be uttered, Mello dropped to his knees beside Matt's hospital bed, his hands trembling and cold gripping onto the thin blanket covering Matt's body. "This entire time.. I've done nothing but wrong you.. I just needed help.. I didn't want to think of him anymore..I'm sorry.. I never meant..." He couldn't breathe. He was caught in every wrongdoing that he had done to his friend, his only friend. "I never meant for you to go through this.. the pain.. being alone... I-I..."

Matt could only watch the scene unfold with shock. His hand hesitantly went to Mello's shoulder as he began to convulse, tears staining the fabric under him. "Mello.. I know.. It's o-"

"It's not _okay!_" Mello snapped up at him, water welling over the crystal in his eyes. "It's never been okay, damn it! Look what you've been through! For nine months! And I'll i've done is stand back and let you take responsibility for my actions! For my damn selfishness!"

Neither of them could stop the eye contact, the heavy tension that finally broke through after all of this time.

Mello failed to keep the tears from falling down his cheek. It made Matt.. smile. Slowly, his hand went up from Mello's shoulder, going to wipe the tears away that pricked against Mello's skin. "You moron... You should know by now that I will always do what you want from me. You're my best friend, Mello.. I'm more than willing to do this for you.. I want to have this baby and raise it on my own, without you giving me a thing, because you.. You mean that much to me."

Stunned into silence, Mello could only look up to Matt, allowing his eyes to travel down, watching as Matt's unoccupied hand rubbed his stomach in soothing circles. It was something he never saw before. Matt had taken such an honorable thing as a motherly instinct and made it something more didn't house an ounce of bitterness or neglect towards the child."...Wh.. why..." In our world, plenty of people have what they simply don't deserve. Mello was one of those people, and he knew it. He always knew it.

Throughout the night Mello was there for Matt, just as he should have been all along. Together, they went through each difficult contraction and grueling exhausting measure that Matt could barely have done by himself, and after sixteen hours Matt gave birth to a tiny boy with a tuft of blonde hair and shimmering green eyes. The exhausted Matt held him close as Mello stood by them both, thankful that he made the decision to make his wrongs right.

Matt fell asleep soon after with the infant in his arms, both quiet and content. They belonged together, and Mello could only watch them sleep as he ran his hand along the soft blond locks of the baby with a strange new sensation in his heart, whispering to them words of determination.

"... I'm going to help you.. I'm going to be there for you two from now on..." Mello declared, to the newfound mother and fragile child in their dream. "I can't give you everything that I should be able to.. I can't love you in the way you deserve, Matt... But we can still be a family, no matter what kind... I'll keep you two safe... I have to..."


End file.
